Freedom from Lust

Porn Statistics

If you are Christian reading this, chances are that you are probably struggling with porn. Around 7 out of 10 Christians do. If you have wanted to quit, but so far no advice so far has helped you, I’m here to tell you that it’s not entirely your fault and there is a solution.
You won’t find it in the majority of churches, because most Christians and pastors struggle with porn just as much as the average person.

  • Around 50% of Pastors view porn
  • 76% of young Christian adults actively search for porn.
  • Only 7% of churches actively try to help people struggling with porn addiction.

Moreover, the topic of sex is a taboo subject in Western Christianity, making it more difficult to discuss the solution to this major issue within the church! I’m writing this blog because I too, was addicted to porn for the majority of my life – but I found freedom and would like to share my knowledge on the matter.

My Story

Since the age of 8, I started viewing porn. At first it was just the instinct of curiosity, but from that moment it had its grip on me. Despite giving my life to God at age 21, I couldn’t shake it, and I constantly battled with guilt & shame. I blamed myself for my lack of willpower, and believed the reason why I couldn’t quit was because I didn’t love God enough.

I did plenty of research on quitting this addiction but nothing really helped. I wanted a magic bullet, but every source proclaimed that none existed. I was told that it would take a long time and a lot of effort to break free. This was totally false, and this false belief was part of the reason why I found it so hard to quit. The truth is, quitting for me had almost nothing to do with willpower, and had everything to do with a misunderstanding of Christianity.

The Lie

What most churches teach is that we are all sinners and that lust is a biological temptation that will be with you your whole life. I was taught that I must overcome it by simply choosing to obey God’s commands. I believed lust was part of human nature, and I just needed to be strong enough. There were times where I temporarily broke free after fasting – but addiction eventually returned, leaving me hopeless.

For you, it may be a repetitive cycle you can’t break free from. In this regard, you may have accepted that lust is in your human nature, and it’s up to you to figure out how to overcome it in your personal life. This is a lie, and it isn’t found in the Bible.

The Truth

The truth is that Jesus set you free from your sinful nature, including your lust, so that you are no longer a slave to sin. You still have the freedom to accept lustful thoughts, but it is against your new nature, which means your nature does not call on you to commit acts of lust, nor does your mind create lustful thoughts. This may go against your personal experience, but for now let’s just acknowledge what the Bible says:

Romans 6
We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? …For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin -because anyone who has died has been set free from sin. … For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace. …You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness. …When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness… But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.

1 John 3:9
No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

The chances are, you may still feel like a slave to sin; specifically, a slave to lust, and that your thoughts tempt you to commit acts of lust. According to what Jesus said, the only reason why you don’t feel free is because you lack knowledge of the truth.

John 8:32
And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

If you claim to actually believe the Bible, then you must undoubtedly accept that the only reason you feel like a slave is because you don’t fully know or accept the truth.

My First Discovery

About a month prior to my freedom, I started asking why I was watching porn in the first place. God revealed to me that I was neglecting an area of my heart that he wanted to fill.

Although I saw God as father, friend and Lord, I didn’t feel any romantic love (Eros) when I spent time with him. I also realised that because I lacked Eros with God, I was seeking a distorted version of it from the internet.

In the Bible, Christ is described as being a Groom, and the church is his bride. As a man, I found it difficult to understand how God could be my husband as I viewed God as male (and I’m not exactly one to pursue homosexual relationships, lol).

While I spoke to God about this roadblock, he asked me to imagine him loving me like I used to love my ex-girlfriend. Not only that, but he asked me to imagine him being female, so that I could give myself permission to experience Eros love with him. To me, this sounded theologically dangerous, so I checked with scripture first before doing this exercise and I found some interesting things…

In Hebrew the word for ‘Holy Spirit‘ (shekhinah) is feminine.
God is clearly stated as spirit, not flesh.
In Genesis 1:27 God created both man and woman in his image (not just man)
There are numerous scriptures describing God as a female. Here are a couple:

Matthew 23:37
How often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.

Isaiah 49 & 66
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! … As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.

Feeling reassured, I decided to imagine God loving me as a female, and I was surprised to discovered an entirely new form of love for God which I had never experienced before. This unlocked new levels of grace, and I fell madly in love with God in a romantic way. Please understand, I never once believed God was female during any of this; nor am I advocating the idea that God is female. But I previously saw God as male, and this was an issue that prevented me from romancing with God.

God deliberately chose male pronouns in the Bible because he wanted us to see him as our King, protector, breadwinner, and the romantic initiator – while we are to see ourselves as his bride. However, God is not biological and has no Gender – God has the best qualities from both genders, as he made both male and female in his image. Through this revelation, the frequency of my porn slowly diminished and I felt a lot less guilt & shame! However, this was not the total solution to my addiction. I needed to understand one more thing.

The Final Truth

About one month after entering into romance with God, I was permanently set free from lust.
During a birthday party, a friend was praying for me when he saw a vision of a Demon inside me.
He immediately asked what I was addicted to, and I openly told him of my ongoing porn addiction.

In the name of Jesus, he commanded the demon to leave. As this occurred, something from the inside of my stomach physically pushed outwards (like in the movie Alien), which freaked me out a lot. This wasn’t placebo; I was feeling a physical thing move around in my stomach. Over a couple minutes of praying, large amount of gas rose up my throat until it eventually came out of my mouth. I immediately felt relief, and the romance I had been growing in with God became 10 times stronger. The Demon had left and now I had been completely filled with Eros for God. From that moment onward I have never had a single thought of lust, and have never desired to look at porn.

This might sound simple, but that is only because it is. The truth is that my porn addiction was demonic! Once the demon left, my willpower was easily enough to crush any attempts of my body to go back to addiction.

Attempts of Return

As you might have guessed, demonic spirits don’t ever just give up and leave without trying to get back in.

Desert

Luke 11:24-26
“When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.”

This demon tried 3 times to tempt me act upon lust. It woke me up in the middle of the night twice, causing physical pain all over my body, tempting me to give in. The level of temptation was extreme, but because I knew exactly what was causing it, I simply prayed in tongues and it left within a couple of minutes.

This was barely at all a battle of willpower, but more so about trusting God that the temptation would leave. Although the temptation was greater than it had ever been, I had no trouble rejecting it because I knew without a doubt that this was a demon. I had previously experienced it physically moving around in my stomach and that memory was more than enough to convince me to steer clear of it!

The third time the demon appeared physically. I woke up to go to the bathroom that night, and I literally saw a transparent naked woman in front of me. This was not tempting at all, and was clearly a last ditch attempt to lure me back in. I prayed in tongues and it left immediately. The next morning I found blood stains in the bathroom, and nobody had been home that night except for me. I wasn’t bleeding, so I have no idea what that was all about. All I know is I never got tempted from that point onwards, and have lived free of lust ever since.

Application of Knowledge

The conclusion of this blog may be unsettling to you, but it’s the truth. If you are addicted to porn, by biblical standards you are being demonically influenced. Jesus set you free from sin, so the only biblical reason why you can’t break free from lust is because it’s coming from an external source.

My advice to you would be to find out why you are doing it in the first place, and then seek to resolve that reason. If you don’t yet have romance with God, seek this first! It is really important to do this before getting rid of a lustful demon, as it will prevent any demons from returning (Luke 11:24-26). Once your love for God has developed into romance, you can then focus on evicting the evil spirit.

If possible, it’s best to ask a mature christian for help in getting rid of the spirit, as attempting to do this on your own may prove to be more difficult. Regardless, evicting the spirit of lust is critical, and is the final step in getting free from addiction.

Ephesians 6:10-12
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Common Questions

Are you saying I am possessed?

Whether or not you have a demon inside our outside your body doesn’t matter, as the bible doesn’t make any real distinction between oppressed or possessed. There isn’t any word for “possessed” in the Greek literature. It simply means “to have one, to be under the power or influence of one, or to be afflicted or tortured by a demon.” How much you entertain a demon will determine how much influence it has on you.

But what about biological temptations?

1 Corinthians 6:13
You say, “Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.” (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies.

The biological desire to reproduce exists for a good reason, but lust and sex are not the same thing, similarly to gluttony and hunger. Lust is a desire that disregards the dignity of human beings; treating them as objects to be used for self-gratification. In lust, sexual pleasure is divorced from mutual self-giving. In contrast, the way God designed sex was for it to be the deepest level of intimacy between man and woman. I have the desire for the latter, not the former.

The Bible states that our sinful (lustful) nature has been done away with through Jesus’ death and resurrection. This means that Christians only experience lust because they believe lies fed to them by demons, which leads them to abuse their biology (which actually desires intimacy). Many Christians would probably use Galatians 5:17 to state that our nature is lustful: “For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.”

To those people, I say: READ THE WHOLE CHAPTER. It’s important to know exactly who the text is talking about. Verse 24 states “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” Clearly the previous verse wasn’t talking about “those who belong to Christ Jesus”

I have been my own devils advocate and looked through all the bible verses referring to lust. I found that all verses that spoke of having a lustful nature were speaking about unsaved people. Some verses confirmed what I have been saying about demonic temptation, and others did not state the source of the temptation. But regardless, the point is that the bible cannot contradict itself when it states that our sinful nature was crucified with Christ.

Personally, after being set free from lust, I have accidentally seen porn a few times while browsing the internet, and my biology did not tempt me at all. The only experience I felt was sorrow for the person. If you have no sinful nature, then lust is not of you – it is external.

Are you basing this off your personal experience? How can you claim that this applies to everyone?

I waited several months after being set free before even considering writing this, as I knew people would be skeptical. But since understanding the reality of our sinless nature and the prevalence of evil spirits, I have been evicting countless demons from other christians on a weekly basis. Whether that be anxiety, drug addiction, fear of men, suicidal thoughts, rage or lust – most of what I previously thought was human failure and psychological issues were demonic. I have chosen to deal with the personal struggles of my fellow Christians, not as the world would, but as Jesus would. Since treating these wounds with the right medicine, I have seen profound effects on the lives of my friends and siblings in Christ.

Why did Jesus Die?

Why did Jesus die? What does it mean?

Despite understanding and believing the religion of Christianity for the majority of my life, I never completely understood why God would create himself in human form just to get tortured and die, and then reappear three days later. Despite calling it a sacrifice, I never understood how God could possibly sacrifice anything, because God has everything God would ever need. God is infinite!

Despite searching, all the answers seemed elusive to me because things such as ‘sacrifice’ or Jewish tradition were did not make rational sense to me (and probably you too). I had the basic explanation as to what ‘happened’ but no explanation to the rationality of such an act.

However, after coming in contact with God firsthand, many of the things mentioned in the Bible have become crystal clear to me; especially the life and death of Jesus. I now understand the reason for such confusion. It is the repetition of religious symbols that blinds us from the objectivity of scripture. We are often taught things about the bible before we get a chance to read and interpret it ourselves without any form of cultural bias.

On multiple occasions Jesus gave parables of himself dying, and explained why, but almost nobody understood these parables at the time, and most people today have heard them so many times that they have lost meaning.

Matthew 13

The disciples came to him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?”

He replied, “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. This is why I speak to them in parables:

 

“Though seeing, they do not see;

    though hearing, they do not hear or understand.

 In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:

 

“‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding;

    you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.

For this people’s heart has become calloused;

    they hardly hear with their ears,

    and they have closed their eyes.

Otherwise they might see with their eyes,

    hear with their ears,

    understand with their hearts

and turn, and I would heal them.’

.

Due to the nature of God, the majority of his teachings cannot be intellectually taught because the secret knowledge Jesus talks about exists in the realm of the heart, not the mind.

What is the Heart? What is the Kingdom of Heaven? And why are some people/ me blind and deaf?

The heart is the center of a persons being – it is another word for ‘consciousness’ – or ‘spirit’ – or ‘self awareness’.

We use our spirit/ consciousness/ heart to direct the flow of our mind’s thought patterns. The scientific word for this is “neuroplasticity”. Every person, in their heart, has a priority list of the things and people that they love most.

If our mind is like a tree, the thing we love most is our roots – it is what we live for.

When anything other than God is at the center of your heart, you will be unsatisfied with your life, and you will always feel like you are lacking something.

When your heart does not belong to God, you will be completely unaware of his existence. You might believe he exists, but you won’t know where he is. Listening to parables or reading the Bible will not teach you the true meaning of the Kingdom of heaven, because the Kingdom of Heaven is not some place far off, but is a dimension that we live and breathe in every day. It is a dimension that some people are aware of, and others are blind to.

The same way that a 2D piece of paper exists within the third dimension, so it is that the world you experience is built upon the Spiritual dimension.

The moment you start loving Jesus more than anything or anyone in the world, you are instantaneously reborn and you enter the Kingdom of heaven, and become aware of the spiritual dimension. When I personally entered this realm, my vision dramatically increased. My ability to love was unleashed and set free, I no longer felt constrained by the expectations of other people. I am now able to see the geometric patterns that shape our world and notice things like fractal geometry and the golden ratio in literally everything! I get the feeling of a warm fire in my heart, and I always feel the presence of God. If I ever feel fear creeping up on me, I have the ability to crush it by focusing on Love, and I can summon waves of energy and bliss whenever I desire.

If you don’t understand why Jesus died for you, it is probably because you are unaware of the Kingdom of Heaven. For the sake of people who do not fully understand, I will do my best to explain the Crucifixion through my personal revelation from God.

I will explain the crucifixion it in the most logical way I can, because I believe it is somewhat pointless delving in to Jewish traditions of animal sacrifice, because the real meaning to the symbols are lost in modern times and have no relevance anymore.

So lets begin…

1.) Free Will makes us evil

God created us with love, and it impossible to force a creature of free will to love you.
As creatures of free will, it is in our nature to choose evil because when we are created, the first thing we don’t know about is evil and we want to find out what it is. We choose evil because we are tempted by what we do not know. It is a lack of trust in God that leads us to make evil choices, because God knows everything and we do not. We all have evil in us because we all have trust issues with our creator.

2.) Darkness can’t be with light.

The laws of logic apply to everything, or else nothing could exist. Even God is bound by logic. For example, God cannot choose to cease to exist, or create a rock so heavy he cannot lift it. God cannot create a square circle – because all of these things are logical impossibilities.

God is the objective standard of Good, so it is only logical that God cannot be evil or join with evil things. If/When God comes in contact with darkness, the darkness is simply eliminated – the same way that shadow ceases to exist when the light is shined on it. This means that we would be exterminated if God came in contact with us; not because he hates us, but because being with us while we contain darkness is a logical impossibility. We must first become perfectly good if we are to be with him. But we are not good! This was the problem of sin, and Jesus’s sacrifice was the way to fix this problem.

3.) Why a Cross?

Darkness cannot be with light because reality is bound by the laws of logic, so its clear to us that fix a spiritual problem is not accomplished in the physical dimension.

This means that the method of his execution was not really important, but instead it was what happened spiritually that mattered.

However, God’s willful submission to be tortured and die in our place, gave the world an example of his love in a symbolic way that non-spiritual people can relate to.

 

4.) The Paradoxical Nature of the Sacrifice.

God is eternal, and we are not. If you look at a timeline drawn on a page, you have something like ‘beginning, middle, end’. God doesn’t see each part separately in time like us. He sees the entire timeline at once because he is beyond time.

So his planning and execution of fixing the problem of our sin was always there. Although the sacrifice was eternal, the crucifixion still had to happen within time, because if it did not happen then there would be no finite manifestation of God’s eternal choice to save us.

If all of this is true, then this means that we have always had the chance to have a relationship with him, even before he died on the Cross. This really means that we have never had a roadblock between us and God from our own finite perspective. But in an eternal perspective, the roadblock is indeed there, but it is also solved simultaneously.

This is what I call the paradox of the crucifixion. If this concept is too hard to wrap your mind around, then all you need to know is that:

a) It was necessary that God solve the problem of our imperfection

b) The problem was already solved from the beginning of time

5.) The Spiritual Fix

God is Multi-Personal

In the same way that a 3D cube with multiple faces would not make sense to a creature existing within a 2D world, God’s multi-personal nature probably wont make sense to you.
But by taking the concept of the trinity on faith, you might understand why what God did was the largest sacrifice any being has ever made. One of the three persons of God, ‘Jesus’, lowered his spirit into our dimension and inside a human body in order to make a bridge between our world and the Kingdom of Heaven

Jesus’ sacrifice allows us to merge with His Consciousness

Jesus eliminated the impossibility of coming in direct contact with us by “becoming sin” and allowing us to merge our spirit/ consciousness with his own, and then obliterating any darkness left behind

So by merging our spirit with his, we no longer have to deal with the effects that sin has on us, because Jesus becomes part of us, and we become part of him, while still holding our own individuality.

For some people, this ‘merging consciousness’ with Jesus may sound a bit ‘New Age’, but actually this is implied all the time by Christians without them even knowing it. The common linguistic of Jesus merging his consciousness with us is to say that “Jesus lives in my heart”. Most of my life I heard this in a religious sense, and did not actually understand what it really meant. Jesus actually explained this in simple terms.

John 17:

“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one,  I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world. O righteous Father, even though the world does not know you, I know you, and these know that you have sent me. I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.”

Please be aware that when I say we can merge consciousness with God, I am not saying that we override Jesus and control him because we become him in that way, nor am I saying that Jesus overrides us and controls us, but I am saying that through our love for him, we become an individualization of Jesus.  We take on his spirit willingly through love and it is through love that we obey him.

Grafting a Tree

A good analogy of this is taking a branch and grafting it on a tree. We are the branch of a diseased tree, and we are grafted onto the perfectly healthy tree of Jesus. The healthy tree has an infinitely powerful immune system that heals our branch.

We don’t just become like Jesus, holding his characteristics, but we literally become connected to him spiritually if we have submitted our entire lives to him. One might think this relationship is parasitic, but it is not. Our connection to Jesus is symbiotic, as we give him love, which he delights in.

God is ultimately the roots of the relationship and is the rock which our spirit stands on. Saying that Jesus merges his consciousness with us is just a more technical way of describing the phrase “jesus lives in me”, but unfortunately due to the mass repetition of this phrase, the meaning is lost for most people who hear it.

Why was it a sacrifice for God to do this?

When Jesus was sacrificed on the cross, it was not just the physical pain that he suffered, but it was a spiritual pain deeper than we can ever know, because Jesus had to separate himself from the Trinity of God and ‘become sin’ so that we, being part of darkness, could join our spirits with his and then return to the Trinity with him.

The pain Jesus suffered was more intense than any pain imaginable, but it would have been more painful for him to lose us. That is how much love God has for us, for God is pure love. When Jesus died, the deal was sealed eternally, as his death carried all the spirits of his children in the past, present and future,  into the community of God.

When the Bible speaks about being Judged by God, it is speaking about the Law of Logic and the light of God being like a fire that obliterates all that is evil. Instead of us being obliterated by God because he is light and we are dark, Jesus’ allows us to merge our spirit with his so that he comes before God with us within him, instead of letting us stand before God individually with darkness still in us.

Conclusion

God’s sacrifice was not just for those who believe in him, it was for everyone on the planet. However, his sacrifice only allowed us the option to be with him – it did not guarantee that we would be with him. We still have our free will and can choose to ignore him and go our own way. He can’t stop us from doing that because if he did this, we would not have free will.

In simple terms:

1.) We are all evil by nature of free will. We are all stained with darkness.

2.) God can’t touch evil because of the law of logic. Light cannot merge with darkness, it can only destroy it.

3.) Jesus’ sacrifice was in the spirit, and his physical torture was a symbol of this for those who cannot understand spiritual things.

4.) His sacrifice is eternal, but it needed to happen within time for this to be so.

5.) God’s sacrifice was to give us the option of grafting our spirit’, which has been stained by darkness, to the tree of life (Jesus), so that through being connected to him, we would become pure light, just like him, and not suffer the obliteration that would occur to our spirit after death if we were to come into contact with God.

Christ had to separate his person hood from the Trinity of God and become sin in order to accomplish this task, and this would have been the most painful experience any being has ever undertaken; for both Jesus and the Father and the Holy Spirit; for God sacrificed his unity in order to unite us with him.

Because of what God has done, we can have the option to merge our spirit with God and live in everlasting bliss; both on earth and in heaven.

Resurrection & End Notes

Concerning the Resurrection, Jesus simply did this because he needed to show us that he, indeed, was really God. The resurrection of Jesus Christ is the celebration of his victory over death – not simply for the fact that he lived after dying, for he was indeed God, but for the fact that he gave us the same gift of eternal life that he possesses. This Gift is the greatest gift that has ever been given. We don’t deserve it, but that is why we call it amazing grace.

When you continue to read the bible you will get a greater understanding of this, but it’s ok to be a bit confused to start with. Just have faith that he will eventually show you this himself. It will come in time with your spiritual growth. If I have said anything that doesn’t make sense, please ask in the comments below.